Embracing Serenity: Finding Joy Amid Life’s Chaos
My husband and I have a lot on our plates. We have elderly fathers in their 90s who are not in the best of health, and we have numerous repairs and upgrades planned for our house and property in the coming months. On top of that, my father will be moving in with us full-time.
To manage everything, we took a stack of Post-it notes and wrote down each of our responsibilities, cares, and concerns. Laying them out on our kitchen island, we filled the surface completely. Then, we organized them: Which ones can we do something about? What first step can we take? Which ones are out of our control? We made an action list focused on what we could accomplish right away to relieve immediate pressures.
Get Your Problems Out of Your Head and Onto Paper
This exercise helped me understand why I’ve been feeling so out of sorts. All those cares and concerns were draining my emotional, mental, and physical bandwidth, diminishing my capacity for joy, and leaving me irritable. Surprisingly, seeing them laid out wasn’t as overwhelming as one might expect. Rather, it was a relief to acknowledge not only mentally, but also physically and visually, what we’ve been carrying.
During my morning prayer, I felt God reminding me that He desires my happiness and joy, and that those feelings are a choice I must make daily. Happiness and joy are present before me every day—I need to choose to see them and be in them. He reminded me not to worry about future issues. “Be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6). The words “Relax into the rest” also came to mind—I’ve given this advice to hundreds over the years.
Trusting God is a Choice
I journaled these revelations: “You can have a peaceful, simple life if you live in the moment and don’t overwhelm yourself with concerns about the future. Yes, troubles may come; every generation has faced them. But there is also joy ahead, and you can choose to wait for the other shoe to drop, or you can choose to rest in Me, trusting I will be there with you always. Imagine a future where I’m ever-present, sustaining and creating miracles. There’s no conceivable future where I am not there for you.“
Heavenly Father continued, “Prepare when I tell you to prepare, and enjoy your simple, beautiful, and blessed life. Let it unfold naturally and gracefully with faith and hope. Practice being joyful and peaceful today. It’s a beautiful day for it.”
He was right. The day was gorgeous—sunny and 68 degrees F. Dave invited me to sit with him in the cedar circle on our property, a serene spot surrounded by Eastern cedars (junipers). I noticed a strip of green grass illuminated by sunlight just outside the circle. Despite the underbrush and briars blocking my path, I felt drawn to that spot. When I expressed my desire to move there, Dave picked up my chair and made a path. He suggested I try sitting on the large limestone boulder nearby. The boulder was cold and not in the sun, so I eventually settled into the chair, facing south.
As I sat there, soaking up the sunlight, I noticed several horizontal strands of spider webs a couple yards from me in the trees. They looked like tiny runways of light. The light moved from right to left along the strands, sometimes backing up and appearing to go the opposite direction for a blip before moving along their way again.
As the wind blew the tiny threads, the light ran along them. One strand in particular floated on the breeze, only attached on the right side and floating buoyantly on the left. I imagined myself as that strand blowing in the breeze, and I felt light, free, lifted.
Mesmerized by the threads of light, I watched them for a long time, completely present to the moment. Then, I noticed, several yards beyond the illuminated strands that huge green cedars swayed side-to-side, creating a backdrop of animated green. They were waving at me! Trying to get my attention! It was if they were a group welcoming me: “Hey, Marnie, how are you doing?! It’s so wonderful to see you! It’s been a while.” Had I ever paid them any mind in the past? I don’t think so, but they seemed so overjoyed to see me. They kept waving back and forth, watching me enjoy the strands of light.
I lifted my hand and waved back at them. To do otherwise would be rude, wouldn’t it? They waved again. Their fluffy needle-laden limbs, with the light hitting them at different angles, seemed so loving and kind and full of life.
Cares Melt Away in Moments of Mindfulness
I sat there for a long time enjoying this space where there were no demands, no cares, no future or past, no responsibilities. I sat present to the light threads and the orchestra of green waving behind them.
Did the trees and the spiderwebs call me over? Or did God whisper to me, encouraging me to come and see this ephemeral masterpiece, reminding me that light streams through the smallest creations, the most ordinary of circumstances, the tiniest of creatures, and every single moment of existence. My part was to heed the Spirit’s call (or the call of nature), position myself to see, and be present to the moment of what is.
My life had been chaotic. I was uncentered and ungrounded, and a loving Heavenly Father knew that. He knew how to heal and liberate my soul in a way that I wouldn’t have expected. It was simple, beautiful, and serene. This entire experience, which lasted perhaps thirty minutes, completely reset my soul, filled me with hope, and removed all my stress. Most of all, it restored my access to hope and happiness. Only God could do that — through His creations and His love which permeates every being and everything. How grateful I am for a loving Father who sees me and calls out to me, lifting my burdens with beauty, love, peace… and light.
